Mini Stories.

• A couple of nights ago, we were taking Lucy outside before going to bed when she suddenly bolted into the dark. While Andrew was rummaging for a flashlight (being a 90% black dog, she's really hard to spot at nighttime), muttering that he was going to "kick Lucy's ass", Lucy ran back home... with quills all over her face. I guess she tried to make friends with a porcupine, but it wasn't interested in meeting a 60 pound mass of excitement barreling at full speed.

While looking for photos of porcupines, most of the search results are pictures of hedgehogs labelled as "baby porcupines". I have never been more disapointed in humanity.

Outcome: We had to call Andrew's parents (waking them up) to bring over giant tweezers/pliers and help take out all of the quills. We really needed the help too: it took all of Andrew's strength to hold Lucy down while his dad was doing the tweezing. It took an entire hour. Andrew was litterally drenched in sweat by the time it was done.

• While attempting to find Lucy some extra water to put in her pen for the day, I met with a giant garter snake. It was longer than my arm. I yelled "GAHHYULLLLLLLLSGHHSS" (the closest approximation to the sound I made) and ran away. I then proceeded to shudder during the entire morning ride to work. 

Update: Andrew lifted the wooden plank next to the shed where I had met the snake and found three snakes. I am never going anywhere near the shed for the rest of my life.

• My friend Lawyer (a super academic that is a hick at heart) has decided for me that she is going to plan Andrew and I's wedding. Not that we're engaged; Lawyer just likes to think ahead.





A wedding not planned by Lawyer.

Ok, I totally am thinking ahead too: just go visit my Pinterest board labelled "Wedding Ideas". It's way too ridiculously large to be considered normal. There's probably more pins on my board than the boards of women who are actually engaged and in the midst of planning their wedding. It's definitely an issue.

Anyways, Lawyer hasn't gotten too far in the planning stages, but has pitched to me her main ideas. They are: pink and camo wedding dress and decor, moonshine and shotguns, beer and a banjo player. I agreed to the beer. Maybe the banjo player too. Cause saying the word "banjo" is fun. Banjo.