Canadian Feature Friday: Kanata - How the Country was named

Here's a quick history of the origin of Canada's name. It's also not 100% accurate. It's probably like 85% accurate. Although the part talking about the Backstreet Boys is totally true.

"I do me, you do you."

The country was named Canada after French explorer Jacques Cartier talked to Iroquois natives who described their land as "kanata". Turns out kanata only means village or settlement, and not "yeah, we're just one native tribe out of hundreds - Micmacs, Inuits, Cree, Hurons, etc. -  spread across the second largest land mass in the world. We all have different languages and we don't have an alphabet, but we still somehow all gathered together to form a Native Empire Committee, which then decided that this giant chunk of land should be called Kanata. We played Rock-Paper-Scissors to decide the winning name." But good ol' JC took it as the latter and started using the word Canada to describe the whole region.

 

Soooo, basically the entire country started on a fuckup. Maybe Jacques was a nice guy and it was all just a huge misunderstanding, or maybe he was just a know-it-all douchebag. I'm thinking he was a douche and was all "Of course I understand these peoples' language! Sure, they may be pointing at a village down the river, but I'm sure it's a metaphor for this giant magical land full of strange animals. I'm cultured."

So once he started calling the area surrounding Quebec City "Canada", everyone started calling all the different parts of Northern North America the same. Cause I guess even if he was a jerk, Jacques Cartier was still a trendsetter. Kinda like Kanye West pre-Kim Kardashian.

Jacques Cartier is apparently such a D-bag that he speaks from his crotch.

Completely True Fact: Jacques Cartier is french for Jack Carter, which means he was Nick Carter from the Backstreet Boys' ancestor.

Ok, I made that last fact up.

Now you know.