In Case you Thought the Crazy Wedding Bitch Left the Building

She definitely hasn't. She's alive and well and still crazy as fuck, making sure Andrew knows I'd like to be an honest woman before I reach menopause.

And what better way to let him know I want to become Mrs. Andrew Hick than by going to a city-wide Bachelorette Party hosted by a local Bridal Gown Boutique for my birthday!

 

HELL NO!

Sidenote: No, his last name isn't actually Hick.

Sidesidenote: After reading my first sidenote outloud, Andrew responded "That would be awesome."

I'M GONNA HAVE A SPARKLY BIRTHDAY!

So this Friday (IN THREE DAYS!), I'm spending the night getting drunk with Bride-to-be Swizzy and two other friends (another BTB and Maid of Honour) surrounded by glitter and gowns. Since this party just happened to fall on my birthday, I'm assuming that they organized this just for me, so I'm going to pretend that it's my own personal wedding-themed birthday party.

I have a feeling some brides might get angry with me by the end of the night.

After getting shitfaced, I plan on using their complimentary drive home because I think they might have gotten a limo, and I want to feel like P. Diddy, minus the ridonkulous amount of name changes. And since I live way out of town, I'm going to get the driver to drop me off exactly at the city limit, and have Andrew drive me the rest of the way home.

A camera will be brought to the event in order to capture the true beauty behind me getting trashed.