It's like that European fairy tale where the Prince can only visit the Princess after dark or he'll become the Witch's slave. Except that the prince is replaced by a hick, the princess is on codeine pills and has a swollen jaw, and the penalty for daytime contact is a missed opportunity to kill something cute and furry.
So it's actually not like a fairy tale at all.
My bad.
On a slightly related note, here's a picture of the T-shirt Andrew's grandparents gave him when we first bought our house. It's obviously Andrew's favourite shirt.
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| Yes, Andrew's legs are that white. |
There's only like a 3% chance that his Nanny and Grampy knew that the T-shirt was actually referring to this.
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| Ahhhh, the 90's. |
Raise your hand if you can still remember all of the lyrics to the song.
Or better yet,
turn around, stick it out. Even White Boys got to shout.
That song is stuck in my head now!
ReplyDeleteI want 'em real thick and juicy
DeleteSo find that juicy double
Mix-a-Lot's in trouble
Begging for a piece of that bubble
Don't deny it, you love it.
The codeine pills could be a metaphor for the death-like sleep spell that so many fairytale princesses seem to find themselves under...
ReplyDeleteOooh, I like it!
DeleteAlso, what the fuck was up with all those chicks falling asleep like that? Were they narcoleptic? Comas due to a stroke?
And let's not even start on the rape-mentality princes; "oh, she's so pretty! I want to kiss her. Well, she's not saying no..."
*Raises hand* and now I'll be singing this for the rest of the afternoon.
ReplyDeleteLookin at rock videos'
Knock-knee'd bimbos walkin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo-Jo....
Also, I'm very thankful my husband is not the sit in the woods for HOURS type of hunter. He loves this season, but it's more about riding through family land, shooting from the truck, and making quick work of it.
I'm pretty sure that's illegal here. Not that it happens everywhere anyways. But Andrew actually loves sitting outside for hours staring at nothing; it`s the only time his ADD calms the fuck down.
DeleteAlso, he doesn`t have to listen to me talk out there, which he says is a plus.
*Hand raised high* Pick me Pick me!
ReplyDeleteIn other commenting--my boyfriend isn't the outdoorsy sit in the woods hunty guy, he's the stay inside, sit on the computer, don't bug me for HOURS type of guy.
My friend`s ex was like that with Halo. One time, she was so desperate for attention, she put on some sexy lingerie and paraded in front of the TV screen.
DeleteThat got his attention. Except that after their "encounter", he was like "...well, the game is going to time out, so I better get back to it."
They didn't last long.
Well fairy tales aren't that nice either - you've got queens that try to murder their stepdaughters and dwarves that imprison princesses and witches that want to cook children. You, on the other hand, will get to cook possum and raccoon. Yummy!
ReplyDeleteWe don't have possum in New Brunswick. We have beaver and groundhog though.
DeleteThankfully, Andrew is only into deer, moose, partidge and pheasant, coyote, ducks, and geese.
We don't eat coyote though, cause that would just be fucked up.
this is my husband's go-to karaoke song. he sung it at our wedding. It was my idea. (I was loaded, obviously.) THEN I danced to it. My ass isn't THAT big either so I don't know if that made it more or less weird.
ReplyDelete