Quick Post that Turned out to be Long. I Guess Andrew is Right and I Just Can't Shut Up.

Rhonda the Bruise Update:  Nearing the three week anniversary of one of the most stupid thing I've done, the last traces of Rhonda the Bruise are finally fading away.

Since I'm really busy working on a secret project, here's a quick post with pictures and videos from when Tazz (my parents' dog) stayed at our house.

"Yes, I would like to buy the magical
kittens. They smell like rainbows."

Sidenote: this secret project is super exciting for me. Maybe not on the same level as riding a unicorn through a field of singing flowers, but definitely as exciting as rolling around on a plush rug while high on ecstasy and surrounded by kittens. I've never done E, but I assume that being high in that particular setting would be pretty damn wondrous.

Here are the cats once Tazz was locked in our living room. What once was their safe haven became their island of misery. After this picture was taken, Sako hid. We spotted her twice during Tazz' 6-day stay.



Sako: Oh God, what is that? I'm never leaving this perch again.
Tika: Can we eat it?

Tazz was mostly barricated in our living room because she tends to get bored (i.e. astoundingly destructive) very easily. If she was left to roam free, she probably would have eaten kitty litter and found a bunch of my thongs to chew, among other things. (Seriously, she must be a lesbian, because she's a major fan of thongs.)

She also demands constant acknowledgement; if you're not petting her or playing with her, you must be her cushion to sleep on or her brace to hold her bone while she chews it. With the neverending attention-seeking, it's like babysitting Miley Cyrus.

Luckily, Andrew and I were able to take a break when she played with Lucy. And by play, I mean be a total bitch. You would think that being a sixth of Lucy's weight would make her hesitate. Nope. Tazz goes after her like its a UFC match and the winner gets an entire graveyard of bones to chew.

 

Ok, so maybe by "running out of steam", I actually meant
"drugged them with cough syrup."

Notice how Lucy's strategy is to use her size to her advantage; her only moves are swinging her head around like a territorial giraffe and pinning Tazz down with her neck. Tazz, on the other hand, likes to bite at any wobbly bits, such as Lucy's ears and lips. Thank God Lucy is not a "Luke", or there would more sensitive wobbly bits for Tazz to target. Finally, on the last night we had her, both Tazz and Lucy ran out of steam.

 

Although it could be completely draining, I loved having her stay with us. Which means I need a second dog. Obviously.

She must have Misunderstood the Meaning of "Lunch Date"...

I went on a lunch date with Cow Eyes today at a local Indian restaurant. The waitress was acting really awkward the whole time; really fake smile, fumbling over words, eyes darting between Cow Eyes and I. Seriously, I've never seen someone act so awkward, especially someone working in the service industry.

Cause this is exactly what every single lesbian couple looks like.

I eventually put two and two together. Cow Eyes was rocking the fabulous short hair, androgynous look. We had little personal space and ate off each other's plates. Miss Stereotype-Believing Waitress thought we were lesbians!

I later asked Cow Eyes, and she thought the same thing.

Way to go, Waitress! She probably thought we listened to lots of Melissa Etheridge, moved in together after the second date, wear fanny packs and don't wear bras. And we that we were a P.E. Teacher and a pro golfer who had seven cats.

It obviously ain't a diamond that's this girl's best friend! *double snap*