Wednesday, 3 October 2012

8 Things to Do When you Can't Sleep

Apparently, even if you're recuperating from surgery, sleeping all day for a week isn't a good thing. Because when you finally go to bed early due to the fact that you need to get back to work in the morning, your brain will be all "HAHA FUCK YOU, BODY! WE'RE GONNA PARTY ALLLLLLLLLLL NIGHT!"
During this temporary bout of insomnia, I found various activities that can keep one occupied.
  • Find new and strange sleeping positions. Maybe your body just wants to spice up your REM time. So I diverged from my usual Spiderman/Praying Mantis and tried out the Fetal position, the Starfish, the Log (which turned into a Barrel Roll), the Superman, the Donut and the Tango.
  • Read a little.
  • Do some yoga. Pull our the yoga mat and everything, go all the way! At the end, when you're supposed to thank your body for everything that it does for you, savour the irony of the moment.
  • Wake up your significant other; if you're gonna stay up, you might as well have some company. Don't be surprised if your other half isn't impressed.
  • Play with your cats until they work themselves up into a killing frenzy, then watch chaos ensue.
    • If your boyfriend/girlfriend was a total dick earlier when you woke them up, feel free to throw the bloodthirsty felines on the bed.
She's clearly pretending the camera strap is Andrew's face.
  • Take some painkillers.
    • Sidenote: Only take painkillers if you actually have some sort of physical pain, such as wisdom teeth removal.
I'm lactose intolerant, so I just downed the tranquilizers straight.
  • Eat some Jell-O. Cause hey, you're awake anyways, why not?
    • Regardless of how far away the light is, do not attempt to eat the Jell-O in the dark and in bed. You will end up thinking you're all done your snack, only to lay your head down on your pillow and find your face covered in lost Jell-O.
  • Think about possible future blog posts, such as "Things to Do When you Can't Sleep".
Eventually, around 3:30am, I managed to fall asleep by laying on the couch, tricking my jerkbrain into thinking that it was a regular nap.


  1. You crack me up lady!! :) Just what I needed to end my day today!!

    1. Perfect! Every day should end with me. Or George Clooney. Whatever floats your boat.

  2. I had a sleepless night too but it wasn't due to sleeping all day for a week. lol. I'm sitting at work thinking another cup of coffee is in order. How's your first day back? I hope you are holding up ok!

    1. It's a total pain. Thank God for drugs and sympathy, cause otherwise work would be Hell.

      Drugs and sympathy have been great at home too! Thanks to Andrew, I've been assigned to the couch for recuperation instead of doing housework. Of course, that also means that no housework actually gets done...

  3. I loathe insomnia. My brain just can't seem to shut the hell up. Any tips for that?

    1. I completely understand that feeling. It's like your brain has a mind of its own. ... Woah, that's like "Inception"'s dream within a dream. Except that there is no dream, cause you can't sleep.

      When trying to shut my brain up, I usually first attempt to drown my brain out by singing as loud as I can.

      If that doesn't work, I then say fuck sleep, then do some yoga or another claming activity.

  4. Came over from Lauren's blog....and am a new fan!! This post is right on, sister - surgery or not. I swear to god the past month it's like I'm on hallucinogenic drugs when I'm trying to sleep. Or am a child with severe ADD. And warm milk? No thanks, I'll just take the glass of spit.
    Looking forward to following along!! :) m.

    1. Thanks! Hope you enjoy the mildly boring adventure that is my life!

      And seriously, who drinks warm milk?

  5. When I can't sleep, I usually have odd conversations with myself. Out loud. It's a good thing for me that the Manchild is such a heavy sleeper. I'm sure it would just add to his (and my speech to text program's) suspicion that I am, in fact, a retarded alien that has been banished from her home planet to avoid bringing any further shame and embarrassment to my race.

    Or I try to work on posts for my blog but get distracted by ninja squirrels and shiny things and end up trying to catch up on all the awesome blogs that I already follow and end up finding more and more awesome blogs to follow and completely ignore my own because I'm too busy reading about everyone else's craziness instead of giving my tendinitis a chance to flare up by unleashing my own insanity on my keyboard.
    I also like to use run-on sentences sometimes.


OMG, you can comment!

You should totally comment.

You May Also Like These Posts

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...