Tuesday, 15 January 2013

Our Wars III: Revenge of the Hick

See what I did there? I'M SO CLEVER!

You know that time I accidentally shot Andrew in the face with an elastic? Well, I don't have to feel guilty about it anymore.
Sidenote: Yeah, I never actually felt guilty. It was hilarious.
We were at the gas station. Andrew was pumping Knuckle's (my car) gas, I was inside paying and Lucy was sitting in the car, freaking out because Andrew was outside of the car and "Oh my God what if he NEVER COMES BACK AND I'LL BE LEFT WITH MAMA AND DAD WILL NEVER COME BACK DAD,DON'TLEAVEMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Sidenote: Lucy's neuroticism clearly comes from my side of the family. Also, yes, we take Lucy everywhere with us either because Andrew can't bear to be without her or he thinks she'll be lonely at home alone. In the case of the latter, we could just fix it if we bought another puppy, Andrew!
By the time I was done paying, Andrew was already back in the car and ready to go. So I walked up to the passenger side, started to open the door, and got sprayed in the face with windsheild wiper fluid.

Sprayed in the fucking face.

With fucking windshield wiper fluid.

It's like time slowed down as I stood there in complete shock: the wiper blades going back and forth, my face and coat getting drenched, the look on Andrew's face as an unending stream of "I'msorry!I'msorry!I'msorry" poured out of his mouth.

After wiping off most of the washer fluid, I got in the car, where Andrew excused his behaviour by explaining that he "thought you were already in the car!"

You can be assured that that excuse didn't fly.

We rode home in silence; Andrew knew better than to try to play country music on the radio in a time like this.



    I mean....

    I'm so sorry.....

    No really.....


    That blows! Your dog is cute, too. I have a neurotic one, he can't handle not being able to come up and nose me if he wants, so, going outside by myself, leaving him in the car, etc. leaves him in fits of agony. Dogs are weird.

    1. Bitch.


      Yep, dogs are like taking care of a really obsessive, clingy and dramatic girlfriend. Except worse, because you can't calm them down by buying them flowers and telling them you love them.

  2. You haven't seen a dog really freak out until you see my dog freak out in a car. If I or my husband step out of the car for 1 minute... she cries and barks and howls and tries to fit in the one inch open window crack. (And that is with one of us still in the car). Nothing - N*O*T*H*I*N*G - calms her down... you'd think we are trying to kill her by the sounds coming out of her.

  3. bwahhahhhahhahahhha! The visual is just so funny! I totally wish we could get footage from the gas station camera. Not to continue to laugh at your horrible episode of course...but to prove whether or not Andrew saw you standing there when he it the button...hmmmm. It may have been payback. Wait, he isn't that diabolical is he?

    I'm sorry that you got drenched with windshield washer fluid but I am not sorry you shared this funny story with us! :) You must really love us. <3!

    We have an insane dog too, she is a blue heeler and if my daughter is out of the room she will whine until she comes back and then act like she hasn't seen her all day when all she did was go to the bathroom! Crazy dog.


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