You know that time I accidentally shot Andrew in the face with an elastic? Well, I don't have to feel guilty about it anymore.
Sidenote: Yeah, I never actually felt guilty. It was hilarious.
We were at the gas station. Andrew was pumping Knuckle's (my car) gas, I was inside paying and Lucy was sitting in the car, freaking out because Andrew was outside of the car and "Oh my God what if he NEVER COMES BACK AND I'LL BE LEFT WITH MAMA AND DAD WILL NEVER COME BACK DAD,DON'TLEAVEMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Sidenote: Lucy's neuroticism clearly comes from my side of the family. Also, yes, we take Lucy everywhere with us either because Andrew can't bear to be without her or he thinks she'll be lonely at home alone. In the case of the latter, we could just fix it if we bought another puppy, Andrew!By the time I was done paying, Andrew was already back in the car and ready to go. So I walked up to the passenger side, started to open the door, and got sprayed in the face with windsheild wiper fluid.
Sprayed in the fucking face.
With fucking windshield wiper fluid.
It's like time slowed down as I stood there in complete shock: the wiper blades going back and forth, my face and coat getting drenched, the look on Andrew's face as an unending stream of "I'msorry!I'msorry!I'msorry" poured out of his mouth.
After wiping off most of the washer fluid, I got in the car, where Andrew excused his behaviour by explaining that he "thought you were already in the car!"
You can be assured that that excuse didn't fly.
We rode home in silence; Andrew knew better than to try to play country music on the radio in a time like this.