Wednesday, 27 March 2013

Dancing in Winter Camo Gear is Tougher than I Thought

Although Andrew sleep-talks all the time, he sometimes quietly dreams that I do horrible things to him. Upon awaking, he then decides that he's still mad at me, and refuses to talk to me until he is happier (ie. fed). I always thought he was being absolutely ridiculous, until it happened to me last night.
Me: You were a disgusting asshole jerk face in my dream, so I'm having a hard time reminding myself that it wasn't really you

Andrew: Lol what I do

Me: So much douchery. You essentially  blatantly cheated on me and didn't care and wouldn't help me with anything. I had to do an exam at the university and halfway there you saw the Spice Girls walking by and you pulled over and offered to help them instead

Andrew: Lmao

Me: And you were flirting with them right in front of me. So I had to walk all the way to the university. And I didn't know the way so I was walking in circles. And I was panicking because I was going to be late. And you kept my laptop because Baby Spice wanted it so I had nothing to take notes with.

Andrew: Lol

Me: And I got to the university and it was Hogwarts looking and I decided to try and sleep with someone to get revenge on you. But no one wanted to because I was dressed in school clothes and couldn't buy myself a drink. And then I found out that you showed Ginger Spice the video of me dancing in your camo suit. Which was the ultimate betrayal. 

The aforementioned video was made when Andrew recorded me dancing around in his giant insulated snow camo suit. He was being a grumpy toddler and I decided to cheer him up. It was a success.
After I found out he recorded my dancing, I made him promise he would never show anyone without my permission. Especially not to Ginger Spice. 
(I was dancing to "Moves Like Jagger", because obviously. Look at this this still. I'm an amazing dancer.)

Me: So I decided to change my Facebook status to single to make a point. But I didn't have my phone or laptop so I couldn't. It was very stressful and upsetting.
Thankfully, Andrew was able to send me cute pictures of puppies, so I couldn't stay angry at him for much longer. 

Although I will never be able to look at the Spice Girls the same. 



  1. Oh yeah, been there - done that. After almost 30 years of marriage my husband is no longer surprised when I wake up pissed because he did something in my head while asleep. He just pats me on my head and waits for the earth to revolve enough for me to get on getting over it.

    Maybe I should demand puppy pictures.

  2. OMG! That is freaking hilarious. Now you must post this video! :)

    I don't stay mad long enough to wake up mad at my hubby and I don't remember things long enough to stay mad either! But pictures of puppies will help anything. :)

    Thanks for the laugh today!


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