Wednesday, 26 October 2011

Blogspot thinks I need to get knocked up and become devout.

Ok, someone please explain to me what is going on here. So while I was sitting watching my pageviews go up (kidding! I'm pratically pageview-less overhere) I thought to myself "Well, if I want people to visit my blog, I should visit their blogs." Big Ah-Ha moment, I know. I then decide to use the handy dandy "next blog" button, which is completely random. Or so I thought. 

"Mom, why won't my hotdog cook?" "Sweetie, that's because
Daddy isn't a real man and can't build a simple fucking fire."

Blog after blog, I get taken to sites completely dedicated to people's kids. Just pictures of kids. And stories about them. Okay, I get your kids are cute and you love them. Hell, if I had kids, I would probably put their face up on a billboard.
But I'm looking for bloggers like me. People who like fat chickens and singing along to mall hallway music, choreography included. These interests can't be fully explored when you have a kid strapped to your back like a koala and another one drawing on your walls with permanent marker because "the walls looked sad so I cheered them up with some dragons!". Finally, I yelled to the computer (and Andrew on the sidelines, but he knows better than to listen to me) "What, are you saying I look pregnant??! MOVE ON!"

For some reason, that actually worked. No mo' babies. Except I now seemed stuck on Islamic sites (As-Salamu Alaykum). Seriously. Just lots of Arabic and pictures of the Kaaba. Now, yet again, I have absolutely no problems with Muslims. My minor in university was religious studies, with a concentration on Islam. I would love to be able to rock a Hijab headscarf (unfortunately, I look like a sickly Albanian boy in one). But I'm not converted. I swear I was sent to at least 7 blogs devoted to Islam. So I used the best tactic I knew: more yelling. "No more Arabic! I CAN'T READ ARABIC!"

Yet again, it totally worked. Apparently my laptop and/or is scared of me. But clearly, blogspot doesn't understand the word "diversification". Cause I was then sent to Christian sites.

And that's when I gave up. 


SOMEONE send me funny blogs please. I want to be entertained.

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