Wednesday, 28 November 2012

Tip of the Day Concerning Pants

When visiting your in-laws (or almost-in-laws), don't wear jeans you bought when you were in 10th grade. Sure, they may still fit you. Sure, it's nice to know that you haven't gotten any fatter.

But chances are, when you sit down for supper, your 8-year-old pants will rip and essentially disintegrate due to pure age and use. And if this happens to your jeans, there's also an extremely high chance that it'll happen on the butt, thereby exposing half of a cheek to the world.

And if you're really unlucky, you won't even notice that your ass is hanging out of your worn out jeans until someone has to point it out to you.

Tip of the Day: don't wear jeans old-as-duck jeans. Your ass and pride will pay for it.

Sidenote: Yes, I said old-as-duck. I'm basing the life expectancy of my pants to that of a duck, more specifically, that of a mallard.
OMG SCROLL TEXT WITH ABSOLUTELY NO POINT!

12 comments:

  1. Oh dear. (I like your pointless scroll, by the way.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I then had to walk around with a huge ugly sweater wrapped around my waist.

      Life fail.

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. Thanks! I've rediscovered HTML tricks that I loved when I was 12. Next thing you know, you'll see sparkles all over the screen and have a little kitty waving instead of a regular cursor.

      Delete
  3. LMAO and the scroll - magnificent!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hehhehehe ooooof. That is embarrassing. But also, hilarious. So, I'm sorry and thank you?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, not the best moment of my life.

      Also, it's ok, and you're welcome?

      Delete
  5. My problem with not wearing old as duck jeans is that finding a pare you actually like is far and away harder than finding a needle in a haystack. At least with the needle you can just resign yourself to rolling around until something pokes you. Jeans do not give you this merciful option. Jeans make you suffer.
    As do mallards when they REALLY want the bread crumbs you're giving to other ducks. Vicious little bastards.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know what's even more vicious? Geese. Geese are greedy, aggressive bitches. They're all "Move assholes, I'm bigger than you and I lay golden eggs".

      And don't even get me started on turkeys.

      Delete
  6. I had an old pair that ripped and were repaired multiple times. They finally caved in on vacation in Chicago. While I was wearing them, of course. I had no other pants.

    ReplyDelete

OMG, you can comment!

You should totally comment.

You May Also Like These Posts

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...