Thursday, 20 December 2012

If You're Expecting a Meaningful Post, I'm Disappointed in you. When Have my Posts ever Been Meaningful?

So, I haven't posted in a week. While I'd love to have an awesome reason to be MIA, such as I was busy in Mexico trying to capture the Chupacabra or meeting up with Martha Stewart to teach that bitch how to party, it would be a lie. The actual reason I haven't been around?

I'm stubborn as hell and have a shitty memory.

While I've had the ability to keep the same password (or some variation of it) since middle school, the fact that a password change is required whenever I forget what damn variation I've used on a certain account has made the memorization of passwords impossible in the past month.

Example of original password from 6th grade:
  • Waffles
Subsequent variations:
  • Waffles28
  • wafflewaffle
  • Wafflywaffles (Oooh, so clever!)
  • Crap, account won't let me use past passwords: waffles28waffles
  • Woah, random symbol now required in password!: Waffle%28
  •  %Waffles37 (Where the hell did I get this number?)
  • %37Waffles
As you can see, by the end of it, I basically have to try every combination of a password focused on a delicious breakfast food (maybe X 2), ± capital W, ± one of two numbers, ± symbol. According to my calculations, this formula creates approximately one bajillion different arrangmentss.

Unfortunately, since the last post, I completely forgot which password I used for my Blogger account, and none of the previously mentioned password combinations seemed to work (it may be possible that I also kept forgetting which passwords I had already attempted, so that I kept trying the same four combinations over and over again). And since I had already changed my password three times in the last month, I was all, Fuck you Blogger, you are not making me do this again! It was then that I refused to recover my account by changing the password again; I vowed to uncover my Blogger password no matter what, even if it took blood, sweat and singing Cee-Lo Green Songs to do it.

And now, after six days of continuous attempts to beat my memory into submission and threats made to my laptop, blogging withdrawl made me weak and I have since reneged on my promise.

I now have a new password for this account. Mind you, I still have no idea what it is (even though I literally just changed it 20 minutes ago), but I've got it written down on multiple post-it notes for the next time my automatic log in doesn't work.
Sidenote: Since this isn't even a real post, I'm adding a random recreation of an animal that used to exist. Some people may call this one of evolution's many strange paths where physical adaptation went wrong; I call it God's creation after a crazy night spent mushroom tasting.
Behold! The Motherfucking-Chalicotherium!


  1. hahahahaha this made me laugh out loud. I have the same problem!

  2. I do the same thing! And I'm so stubborn that when a password I just know for sure is the password, but it apparently isn't because it won't let me in, I just keep typing it until they lock me out for possibly being a hacker...

  3. I hate it when they throw in that freaking symbol requirement! That messes with my whole password logic! Need a cap? No problem. Add a number? I can do that easy! Throw in a symbol? WTF! Who can remember if it's a %,$ or #! AHHHHHH! I'm ready for the eye scanner now!

  4. Awesome! Password problems. When I seeing password requirements listing at least one lower AND upper case, one symbol, one number bullshit, I start to get stabby! Found your blog from tesseract! Good luck with the new password!


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