A Case of Mistaken Identity. Texting-style.

2:02 - Andrew is currently in a text war with some girl called Kaitlyn who thinks he's actually "Matt". She apparently wants her watch back, which cost her 90$. Andrew also owes her 40$. She's not believing that she's got the wrong number.

2:15 - Andrew decided to have some fun and told her that he traded in the watch for a six pack.

2:30 - We just found out Andrew is her ex. I am also a 15 year old ugly, greasy tramp who looks like a man. I also presume that I helped him cheat on her.

3:00 - She's not believing Andrew whatsoever. She's going on about how Matt pretends he's tough shit, but she's seen him cry a bunch of times, and that he killed his dog. And then cried.

3:26 - Kaitlyn is going on about how "she's not stupid" and that "jake" gave her the number, so it's the right one.

3:45 - She's getting angry and calling Andrew names now, and demanding her money.

3:55 - I've decided to join in on the texting war. I'm going in.

Me: Kaitlyn?

Her: Who's this :s

(Good, she's scared. I'll stay persistent)

Me: Is this Kaitlyn?
 - Yeah, this is obviously Kaitlyn.

Her: Who is this
 - Lmfao not gunna say?

(Is she taunting me?!)

Me: Please stop texting my partner. He was entertained at first, but now he's tired of this.
(I'm not going to be a bitch straight out of the gate. Who do you think I am?)

Her: Who's this

(God, she's annoying. Plus, she doesn't know proper punctuation use. Minus one point for Kaitlyn.)

Me: Andrew's common law.

Her: Lmfao that's my ex boyfriends number n I know it

(Oh dear Lord. Not only does she not get it at all, but she also just used a letter as a word.)

Me: Seriously, if he was your ex, you should know his number better. But I'm glad you're getting a kick out of this as much as we are :)
 (At this point, I'm being kinda condescending, I know. But I can't help it.)

Her: Seriously it is cause I have it in my phone

(What the hell kind of logic is this? Is her phone all-knowing?)

Me: Well, maybe you put it in when you were drinking? I admire your conviction, but you definitely have the wrong number.

Her: I've been texting that number since july soo

(Ok, this girl is stupid. I'm bringing in some concrete evidence.)

4:15 - She's been texting us for about 2 hours now. She's quite persistent.

Me: And is this his dog? Cause it's ours for sure. And I've seen his license. 100% sure there's no double life going on.

4:26 - No messages from her yet. From a text a minute to this, I think she's done.

(But I need to throw in the last word. Again. :P)

Me: I'm glad you finally got the message.

I think I'll message her again tomorrow :)