In the past couple of years, I've slowly metamorphed into a hippo; a non-vegetarian, unagressive (unless country music comes on), unable to swim hippo. Although I think hippos are cute, I do not enjoy being one.
Also, hippos splatter their shit everywhere. It's nasty. True story.
So my newly-engaged friend Swizzy and my not-engaged self decided to join some sort of fitness class. We ended up deciding to take hot yoga classes. Because hey, we love slow excercises and we like the heat. So we could sweat without having to work hard. Cause we're lazy like that.
Because someone with a ring was running late, we had to switch from the 5pm class to the 6:30 class. The yoga teacher had instructedus not to eat anything for the couple of hours leading up tto the class. But I was like "Fuck that shit, I'm eating a cookie", and since we were now on a health kick, I decided to balance out the cookie by drinking a whole bottle of vitamin water.
Coworker: You know this is the hardest yoga teacher, right?
Swizzy: Uh, no.
Coworker: And that this is the 75 minute session?
Me: Seventy-five minutes?! I'm not gonna last that long without having to pee.
Coworker: Well, I hope you won't, because no one is allowed to leave the room until the session is over. It disrupts others' focus.