Monday, 12 December 2011

The Knight is a Metaphor for what?!?!

Warning. This post is messed up. Andrew thinks I should delete it. I probably will. But it just shows what sleep deprivation does to me.

Last month, I felt like absolute crap. One night, I had gotten up at around 3 a.m. so I could have a one-hour date with my toilet playing Spin-the-Nausea and Seven Minutes in Disgust. It was lovely, really. Also, while feeling sick, I have the weirdest bad dreams, like people chasing after me and some guy being hit in the head by a pocket watch, which then somehow melts his face. Yeah, I'm not even going to question it at all.

So the night after, my tired brain was determined not to have weird-ass dreams and thoughts. My brain decided it was going to be kept busy while trying to fall asleep so it would have less chance of having messed up dreams. (Apparently, that night I thought that the bad dreams were causing the nausea, and not the other way around. Proof of my declining common sense as the hour grows later. Really. Now that I think about it, it's the stupidest reasoning ever.)

So, how did my brain keep busy? By deciding to invent a Fairy Tale. Based on the biological happenings during conception. Yeah, I'm actually serious.

This was the storyline my brain cooked up:

And then the magical egg grew grass?
Once upon a time, in a fantastical land, there was a King who wanted to be happy. He then heard of a magical cave which held the dragon Queen's giant egg that was said to hold happiness in its purest form. So he sent all of his knights to capture the egg. It was a perilous journey; many knights died during their quest for the egg. Only a few knights reached the egg. However, rather than bring the egg back, the knights were filled with an overwhelming urge to gain its happiness. So they all attempted to reach the happiness inside the egg. One knight broke through and entered the egg.

At this point, I dozed off. Thank God, cause that whole thought process should have never happened, let alone have gotten that far.

Is this my proudest moment? Hell no. In fact, it's downright fucked up. 

I'm going to go do something normal now so I can feel, well... normal.


  1. This could be a parents help book on how to explain where babies come from to small children with fairy tale analogies.

  2. Also, the little thing that makes me type letters to prove i'm human just gave me the word semen.


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