Tuesday, 31 January 2012

Why I Don't Ski (Part II) - Or, Yes, I was a Big Baby. But it was Scary, ok?

This is a continuance of Part I (in case you have no common sense. Or you never look at titles. Or you're illiterate. Although in that case, you can't read any of this. So just look at pictures.)

This 3 year old is better than me. And that is sad.

So there I was, laying in the snow.

Little children wizzed by me, oblivious to the disaster on the verge of tears they passed. Andrew came over and coached me back up. He then showed me again how to slow down by pointing my skis inward, which simply made me run my skis into each other.

Wipeout number two.

I ended up playing Twister in the snow with my skis. Of course, the skis won.

Have I mentioned I've only gone about 15 feet down the bunny hill at this point?

"This bitch be crazy!"

I got up again and kept trying, but whenever I would go faster than 10 km/h, I'd panic and fall down. I eventually broke down. It was like Oprah's ugly cry. There was sobbing. There was gross face squishing and tears. Probably some snot too.

It was then that I decided that I hated skiing. More than anything in the entire world. And I no longer wanted to ski.

Me: I don't want to ski anymore. I suck at this. And the little children are laughing at me.
Andrew: No you don't. And no they aren't. You just need to keep trying. No one is looking at you, everyone on the bunny hill understands you are learning.
Me: If they're not looking at me, then HOW CAN THEY TELL IT'S MY FIRST TIME?!?!
Andrew:... Christine, it's pretty obvious. You're on the ground, crying.
Me: I don't care. I'm done. I don't want to ski.
Andrew: *sigh* Fine. But we still need to get to the bottom of the hill.
Me: No. I'm not doing it.
After a couple of minutes, I agreed to finish going down the hill. Andrew had to ski backwards, holding on to me, and keeping a turtle's pace, or I would freak out. Even though he was holding on to me, I still managed to fall a few times. At one point, I started going too fast, and actually slid between Andrew's legs. He caught me before I ended up on the other side of him and pulled me back up.

Because the situation wasn't embarassing enough for me, a guy skiied pass us and yelled "NICE SAVE, MAN!" to Andrew. Thanks for that, dude.

We finally got to the bottom of the hill. Andrew took off my skis and returned them to the lodge and I sulked away to the truck. It was a quiet ride home.

As the title says, yes, I realize I was acting like a big baby. If I went back to try again, would I act the same?


I'm just gonna stick to toboggans.

This toboggan is made of concrete. I want it.
Also, is that Prince Harry pushing it? This is
a horrible end to a post. I'm just tired of talking
about that shitty day. Cause I was a total wimp.


  1. I've had some people try to convince me to go skiing lately. I have gone a few times and wasn't too horrible. But one person is a boy and I dread the possibility that I might react like this haha

  2. The one and only time I went skiing. My lovely husband took me to the top of a very large hill in Colorado (not a bunny hill at all.) I tried for a little while. But I kept falling and my skis kept popping off. So I quit and took off my skis and make Ryan hold them while he skied to the bottom of the very long hill. And I slid down on my butt. And it took 45 minutes. But it was better than the skiing


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