Woah Woah WOAH, Ukraine!



WHY MUST THE SLAVS TAUNT ME SO?!

 Either another Slavic country discovered me, or Russia has hired Ukraine to spy on me, because yesterday was FULL of Ukranian pageviews. I'm going to err on the side of paranoia and assume that they're also trying to kill me. ("The Ukraine girls really knock me out"? I'm taking those lyrics as a warning to me from the Beatles. Thanks, Beatles!)


The Chinese dude.



As some Chinese dude said, "Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer." So in the interest of my survival, I'm going to learn as much about Ukraine as I can. Because the ability to spout off random facts will somehow save me in the case of an assassination attempt.

It makes sense, okay?

So, from what I've gathered, they talk with their hands alot and are super patriotic. Their version of vodka is called horylka and is made with red peppers. The average Ukranian drinks 15.6 liters of alcohol a year, which is one liter more than Irishmen. 

Someone put horseshoes, or in this case fleashoes, on a flea. The flea is in a museum. Yeah, I'm serious. Most websites talking about Ukranian facts mention this one.

Most Ukranians speak Russian, which only tells me that they're definitely spies.

Does any of this information help? No, no it doesn't. I am still completely unprepared in the case of a Ukranian attack. But what I do have is a craving to try horylka with them.

Like I did with my Russian viewers, I ask my Ukranian readers to comment on this post. If you don't, it proves you're after me. If you do, please don't yell at me. It's not my fault I'm neurotic (plus, your language is really pretty, so... that's good, right?).

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By the way, I totally saved the day at work while simultaneously filling up my exercise quota for the day. I'm like Superman, but way sexier.