|Oh my God, it's totally true!|
|Does Dora usually have a boner?|
Every morning, we started out class with a reading period. After a while, I ran out of things to read (I'm the Rain Man of reading). She noticed right away. I said I had read all my books at home multiple times. She told me to read books from the class library. I told her I had already read them all. So she gave me the city paper to read every morning. What in the hell kind of fourth grader wants to read the daily paper? I sure didn't. So I just drew moustaches on the photos.
She yelled at me so much that it actually started a rumor with the younger kids. During all of my childhood, I was constantly dealing with bad ear infections, so I had tubes put in my ear pretty much every other year. 4th grade happened to be one of those years. My best friend Prince's little brother later told me that Mme. Dora yelled at a kid so loudly, that the kid had to have an ear operation. (That kid was me, in case you didn't get the connection).
Fourth grade appeared to get better when we got a new student. From RUSSIA. Her name was Alena Molorina and she was going to be my new best friend. Cause she was new and from RUSSIA, MAN!
|Look! A Stereotype!|
|It probably looked like this. Cause I drew like Leonardo da Vinci when I was 9.|
Next project was free-range (Like a happy chicken. Always buy eggs from free-range chickens. Anything coming from a happy ovary will be much better than from a stressed one.). I decided to make a little booklet out of red construction paper. On the front was a drawing of my dog at the time. On the inside was a poem about her. It was glorious.
Next thing you know, Alena makes THE EXACT SAME THING, but all about her cat and with blue construction paper.(See how badly I hold a grudge? It's pathetic.) Next thing you know, the teacher is showing it off in front of the whole class, saying how creative Alena was, blah blah blah. I know now that the teacher was probably just trying to make the little Russian fit in and feel comfortable, but alienating her by making looking like an Einstein probably wasn't the best way.
Cause that's what it did with me. I slowly grew to hate her. Partly from jealousy, partly from the unjustice the teacher dealt me. I wouldn't play with her anymore. I hid my art projects from her. I rolled my eyes at the sheer mention of her name. After half a semester, she ended up skipping like 2 grades. I guess she was an Einstein.
I never saw her again, but every once in a while, I wonder what happened to Alena.
|Since she's Russian, she most likely looks like|
this now. Damn that Alena and her Russian genes.